TYPES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

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What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, threats, and emotional/psychological abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence varies dramatically.

 

(National Coalition Against Domestic Violence)

Abuse can take many different forms:

Phychological

physical

Sexual

Sexual Coercion

reproductive

financial

Image by Brian Wangenheim

Psychological abuse may look like: 

  • Calling you names, insulting you or continually criticizing you

  • Refusing to trust you and acting jealous or possessive

  • Trying to isolate you from family or friends

  • Monitoring where you go, who you call and who you spend time with

  • Demanding to know where you are every minute

  • Trapping you in your home or preventing you from leaving

  • Using weapons to threaten to hurt you

  • Punishing you by withholding affection

  • Threatening to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets

  • Damaging your property when they're angry (throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors, etc.)

  • Gas lighting

  • Humiliating you in any way

  • Blaming you for the abuse

  • Accusing you of cheating and being often jealous of your outside relationships

  • Serially cheating on you and then blaming you for their behavior

  • Cheating on you intentionally to hurt you and then threatening to cheat again

  • Cheating to prove that they are more desired, worthy, etc. than you are

  • Attempting to control your appearance: what you wear, how much/little makeup you wear, etc.

  • Telling you that you will never find anyone better, or that you are lucky to be with a person like them

 
School Teacher

Physical abuse may look like: 

  • Pulling your hair, punching, slapping, kicking, biting or choking

  • Forbidding you from eating or sleeping

  • Hurting you with weapons

  • Preventing you from calling the police or seeking medical attention

  • Harming your children

  • Abandoning you in unfamiliar places

  • Driving recklessly or dangerously when you are in the car with them

  • Forcing you to use drugs or alcohol (especially if you’ve had a substance abuse problem in the past)

 

Sexual abuse may look like: 

  • Forcing you to dress in a sexual way

  • Insulting you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names

  • Forcing or manipulating you into to having sex or performing sexual acts

  • Holding you down during sex

  • Demanding sex when you’re sick, tired or after hurting you

  • Hurting you with weapons or objects during sex

  • Involving other people in sexual activities with you against your will

  • Ignoring your feelings regarding sex

  • Forcing you to watch pornography

  • Purposefully trying to pass on a sexually transmitted disease to you

 
Image by Joshua Rawson-Harris

Sexual coercion may look like: 

  • Making you feel like you owe them — ex. Because you’re in a relationship, because you’ve had sex before, because they spent money on you or bought you a gift

  • Giving you drugs and alcohol to “loosen up” your inhibitions

  • Playing on the fact that you’re in a relationship, saying things such as: “Sex is the way to prove your love for me,” “If I don’t get sex from you I’ll get it somewhere else”

  • Reacting negatively with sadness, anger or resentment if you say no or don’t immediately agree to something

  • Continuing to pressure you after you say no

  • Making you feel threatened or afraid of what might happen if you say no

  • Trying to normalize their sexual expectations: ex. “I need it, I’m a man”

 
Pregnant Woman

Reproductive abuse may look like: 

  • Refusing to use birth control

  • Breaking or removing a condom during intercourse

  • Lying about their methods of birth control

  • Not allowing use of birth control or sabotaging birth control method

  • Withholding finances needed to purchase birth control

  • Monitoring your menstrual cycles

  • Forcing pregnancy and not supporting your decision about when or if you want to have a child

  • Forcing you to get an abortion, or preventing you from getting one

  • Threatening you or acting violent if you don’t comply with their wishes to either end or continue a pregnancy

  • Continually keeping you pregnant

  • Pressure, guilt and shame from an abusive partner (ie. constantly talking about having children or making you feel guilty for not having or wanting children with them — especially if you already have kids with someone else)

 
 Young Woman Contemplating

Financial abuse may look like: 

  • Giving an allowance/closely watching how you spend it or demanding receipts for purchases

  • Placing your paycheck in their bank account and denying you access to it

  • Forbidding you to work or limiting the hours that you can work

  • Maxing out credit cards in your name without permission or not paying the bills on credit cards, which could ruin your credit score

  • Stealing money from you or your family and friends

  • Using funds from children’s savings accounts without your permission

  • Living in your home, but refusing to work or contribute to the household

  • Making you give them your tax returns/confiscating joint returns

  • Refusing to give you money to pay for necessities/shared expenses like food, clothing, transportation, or medical care and medicine

 
Stressed Man

Digital abuse may look like: 

  • Controls who you are friends with/follow on social media

  • Sends you negative, insulting or even threatening emails or messages online

  • Uses sites to keep constant tabs on you

  • Puts you down in their status updates

  • Sends you unwanted, explicit pictures and pressures or demands you send in return

  • Steals or insists on being given your passwords

  • Constantly texts you and makes you feel like you can’t be separated from your phone for fear that you will be punished

  • Looks through your phone frequently, checks up on your pictures, texts and outgoing calls

  • Uses any kind of technology (such spyware or GPS in a car or on a phone) to monitor you

 

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING ANY OF THESE TYPES OF ABUSE, WE ARE HERE TO SUPPORT YOU.

PLEASE CALL OUR 24-HOUR CONFIDENTIAL CRISIS LINE - YOU DESERVE A LIFE FREE FROM ABUSE: