Domestic Violence

Teen Dating Violence

• Approximately 1 in 8 students will be in a dating violent relationship before graduating high school.
• Adolescents who are abused are at increased risk for unintended pregnancy, emotional and eating disorders, substance abuse, and self injury (including attempts of suicide).
• Many teens believe that jealousy and possessiveness are signs of love. They are really signs that the other person views the partner as a possession and is insecure because of the fear of not being able to keep the partner from leaving the relationship.
• Both male and female adolescents can be violent with each other in a dating relationship.
• Substance abuse by either partner increases the rate of injuries in a dating relationship.
• Many teens feel it is better to have an abusive partner than no partner at all.
• Abusive partners will use isolation from family and friends to make the victim more dependent on the abusing person.

• Pressure to make a quick commitment to the relationship.
• Need to always be around, not letting the other person have friendships alone.
• Makes all decisions about whom the person can see or what she can do.
• Demands an account of every minute away from each other.
• Blames others for any problems or for own bad feelings. Does not take responsibility for own feelings and behaviors.
• Constantly criticizes or insults the other person. Puts down any accomplishments or opinions.
• Makes a threat of violence to produce fear in the other person. May hit objects near the other person.
• Uses force or manipulation to have sex.

• Ask yourself, "What do I know about this person?"
• Know what you are looking for in a person.
• Decide ahead of time what you will do if he acts inappropriately.
• Know the warning signs of potential abusers.
• Listen to your instincts; they are usually right.
• Find out about this person from your friends who know him.
• Listen to how he talks to and about his mother, sister, or other women.
• Do you have doubts about his honesty, sincerity, or behavior?

• Plan to date in groups or with other couples.
• Be aware of your surroundings when with your date.
• Date in public places where it is more difficult to confine or harm.
• Let others know where you are going and what time you are to return.
• If you begin to feel afraid or uncomfortable, don't hesitate to leave or get help.
• Do not allow your date to pressure you into doing anything you do not want to do or do not feel ready to do.

• Don't put up with abuse. You deserve better.
• Know that you are not alone. Teens from all different backgrounds across the country are involved in or have been involved in violent relationships.
• Understand that you have done nothing wrong. It is not your fault.
• Recognize that being drunk is not an excuse for someone to become abusive.
• Talk with your parents, a friend, a counselor, a faith leader or spiritual leader, or someone else you trust. The more isolated you are from friends and family, the more control the abuser has over you.
• Know that you can get help from professionals at rape crisis centers, health services, counseling centers, or your family's health care provider.
• Alert a school counselor or security officer about the abuse.
• Keep a daily log of the abuse for evidence.
• Remember that no one is justified in attacking you just because he or she is angry.
• Do not meet him or her alone. Do not let him or her in your home or car when you are alone.
• Avoid being alone at school, your job, or on the way to and from places.
• Always tell someone where you are going and when you plan to be back.
• Plan and rehearse what you will do if he or she becomes abusive.